February 8, 2012

On Pregnant Brain

Being pregant is very much like having early onset dementia.

This morning I tried to wash my hair with my facial cleanser.

When the kids ask me something, I have to repeat the question to myself 2 or 3 times before I actually understand what they are saying enough to be able to answer. And it's not as if they are asking deeply intellectual questions. It's just usually something like, "Can I have a drink?"

Last week, I led the grocery store carry-out boy to somebody else's SUV. I got frustrated when I couldn't get the back door open and felt completely stupid when I hit the unlock button again......only to hear my SUV beep at me from three parking spaces over. There were no cars parked in between that SUV and mine. When I realized I was standing at a Tahoe and not a Suburban (yes, I drive one of those freaky, large bus things), the carry-out boy asked me, "Did you think your car had shrunk while you were in the store?" I just mumbled something about not enough sleep.

The other day, I managed to walk into, step on, and pinch my finger in nearly everything possible. I even bumped my head on our basement ceiling. Now our basement is nearly 100 years old, but I've never, ever come close to bumping my head down there. I'm nearly certain that my recent weight gain is not from increased height.

But "mommy brain" may be just as bad. There's always the "lead of hettuce" or the time I answered the phone during supper and instead of saying "Hello," I started praying, "Dear Jesus..." I crossed my fingers hoping for a telemarketer, but it was one of the husband's customers.

Maybe it's just me....

7 comments:

Amanda said...

Oh, honey. What memories you will have!

How many white SUV's are in our area anyway. Like a million. The carry-out-boy's comment is priceless. Was this your ex-nanny's "special friend?" I am dying to know!

You looked fabulous today! You had the pregnant mommy glow thing going on (in the midst of fits and everything!)

Elizabeth said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Dear Jesus!! That made me SPIT out my coffee!

I feel ya there though woman. I've been through the pregnancy brain and now am certainly going through the Mommy Brain stage.

The other day I told Chris that I'm not certain I could hold an intelligent conversation anymore. My vocabulary centers around words like "potty", "sissy", "owie" and "heinie". Not exactly rocket science material.

Alissa said...

Pregnancy brain is so frustrating. But you have to laugh!
When I was pregnant, I left the car running for over a half an hour in the garage. Because I SWORE I shut it off when I got home.... and it happened more than 5 times during the 9 months! Finally I would come home and Mark would just automatically check for me...
It just takes so much more time to process everything!

Jess said...

Oh dear. At least you can laugh about it!

Try being pregnant and having undiagnosed hypothyroidism (which also causes terrible confusion)... I still don't understand how I survived that.

Lisa said...

At least all this stuff gives good blogging material. :-) Hope nothing gets too out out of whack. I do love the "come Lord Jesus" on the telephone!

Unknown said...

Oh goodness! You made me laugh so hard! I loved the carry out boy's comment...too funny! And your prayer on the phone...still giggling as I type this!

The good news...all us momma's have been there, so we can absolutely relate! You're not in this alone, honestly I feel like I'm still a space cadet many days!

Jess said...

Miss you. (again) I totally understand being uninspired and exhausted and... but anyway. I miss you.