February 7, 2012

Things I Never Thought I'd Say...

....until I became a mom (and a dog owner)


~ Don't do grandma's choreography on the kitchen table! This is not Summer Stock.

~ I will clean your poop out of the attic after we finish making these hamburger buns.

~ Don't run through the house holding that metal rod up to your eye!

~ Please stop batting at that angry hornet with the grill scraper.

~Belle! I am not a sheep! Stop trying to herd me!

~ It's not proper to sit on your sister like that.

~ I don't think it is a good idea to pole-vault with that old broom stick.

~ I will play Kung Fu with you after we clear the table.

~Let's just let Belle fight off that confused and possibly rabid muskrat in peace.

~Let's not pretend to give each other "shots" with that bow and arrow.

~Please throw your toenails in the garbage after you are done admiring them.

3 comments:

Jess said...

"Give me your cow"

and, at 2am to my husband: "There's something on top of me. Oh, it's a child. Could you please go put it away?"

Amanda said...

I love this!

And I am so glad you blogged about it because in a few years you will have another bunch of 'things you thought you would never say.'

Elizabeth said...

HAHAHA! I don't even want to know about the poop in the attic!

I love it. I need to jot some of the things down that come out of my mouth!