Finished {also known as the Loaded Post}

The sky is getting dark.

There's a storm brewing up, and every now and then I can hear a low rumble of thunder in the distance over the William Joseph mix I've got cranked on Pandora.

The husband is not home yet. But it's really okay. It's his last day on the truck. {More on that in a later post...or two...or three...and actually, I've already hinted at it.} That's a tough thing to explain to the kids, and it makes me a little teary.....even though it's all good. It's not the risk and the unknown and the new-ness that gets me; it's the looking back and letting go.

By this time of the evening, I have a really hard time not focusing on all the things I didn't get done today. Even if I've had a great day, it's hard for me to see past the undone, the re-done, the never done, the forgotten.

But as I sit here typing this while the kids eat supper and compare notes on who did the most dangerous thing in the bathtub ("I dunked my head!"  "I put my face in the water!"  "I swam on my tummy!"), I realize how ridiculous I sound. I just pulled a pan of bars out of the oven and popped in two loaves of homemade french bread. I made zucchini muffins (again) this morning for breakfast, and after a picnic breakfast outside where we pretended the dog didn't lick the butter, the kids helped me do some much needed cleaning around here (which ended up only being dusting in 2 rooms of the house and cleaning the kitchen/dining room/front entry floor).

I then had the crazy idea to take the kids to the local horticulture gardens and stop on the way for ice cream cones.....with sprinkles. Did you know that melting ice cream is a lot more messy when its dragging sticky spinkles with it down your child's hand, onto his/hers clothes, and finally onto the carseat?

The kids decided they just didn't want the ice cream (??) so I was left with 3 baby-sized sprinkle cones to eat myself. And then we spent some time at the gardens in the near 90 degree heat with no breeze whatsoever.

So after all that plus the normal things I do each day, how can I really expect to get more done? And why is there always this nagging what-I-didn't-get-done mental list at the end of every day?

When I feel like this, I can't help but remember something I read in a book that I went through at my moms' Bible study last year.  There was, what the author considered, a lie with a corresponding truth.

Lie: I don't have time to do everything I'm supposed to do.
Truth: There is time in every day to do everything that God wants me to do.

And I still can't fully wrap my mind around this one. But the author drove home this thought by pointing out that Jesus accomplished everything God wanted Him to do. Jesus said, "I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given me to do" (John 17:4).

At first it's easy to say, "Well of course Jesus finished the work. He's God!"

But Jesus did not heal every cripple, every lame, every ill.....He did not cast out every demon....He did not purge Israel of the Romans.....He did not do what everyone thought he should do.

If anyone had a reason to feel weighed down by the undone and never-done, it was Jesus. But even with the sick still lining the streets, and the scoffers still lurking in the corners, and the Romans still galavanting around, He said, "I have finished the work which You have given me to do."

And I really don't know what this looks like. How is this truth suppose to play out in the reality of my life? How, how, how do I fully realize God's to-do list for my day so that I can end the day knowing I finished the work which He has given me to do?

It dawns on me as I wonder all these things that maybe it's not about what I do. Maybe it's not about a to-do list. Maybe the answer is right there.

 "I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given me to do" (John 17:4).

Maybe that's it. There will always be the struggle of balancing household duties with wifely duties with motherhood duties with stupid, crazy, expensive, fun hobbies. But maybe it's not about acheiving the perfect balance so much as it is about glorifying God while daily working to find the balance.

I dunno. But that would be just like God......to put the answer right there....to make it simple.

So I wonder what my life will look like now that I've quit my job {more on that in another post}. What will those extra 8-16 hours a week look like for me?

And with the toys still lining the floors and the dust still lurking in the corners and the half-dressed toddlers still galavanting around, can I say "I have finished the work you have given me to do?"