Winter Confession

I'm a bad mom in January. I am.

It's not right, and "January" certainly isn't an excuse for it.

But maybe facing the music of this fact will help me change...?

I don't know if it's the short days, the less-than-normal to do, the cold, the lack of sunshine or just some volatile combination of all of the above, but I am at hair-pulling-out status from shortly after I wake up to shortly after the kids finally go to sleep (which, in case you were wondering, is in no way synonymous with when the kids go to bed). That's another winter-time gripe of mine - bedtimes that stretch on forever......

But now that there's a growing light at the end of this tunnel called "January," I'm again making some parenting realizations that are not new to me but that I seem to forget way too often.

Like....

How can I expect my kids to stop whining when the voice I am using with them is striking a similar chord?

How can I expect my kids to show respect for me when my tone and actions with them are rude?

If the day is falling apart, it's likely my fault, not their's. After all, I always tell them, "Momma's the boss."

Their first vision and understanding of God, life, respect, authority, work ethic, etc, etc come through me - mostly my actions, my real-life actions, not just what I say - and I've been painting a pretty poor picture this past month.

I could look at myself as a victim....of hormones or lack of sunshine or the loneliness that comes with the knowledge that Daddy won't be home tonight.

I could fall into guilt for being such a horrible person.

I could beat myself up.

But I'm not gonna do any of that. It would be a waste of my time.

Each day is a new day, February is a new month. So I'm just gonna take a new grip with these tired hands and mark out a better, straighter path for tomorrow so that the ones who follow me will not stumble and fall but will become strong. (Hebrews 12:12-13)

And I'm gonna take some time right now to list some gratitude. It's the face-lift that every day needs.

#375. beginning to see shreds of daylight before 8:00 am

#376. 5:00 pm beginning to look a bit lighter, too

#377. this week's forecast of 35-43 degree temps and lots of sun

#378. winter days worthy of playing outside for hours

#379. just enough snow to make pre-schoolers happy

#380. Doggie kisses

(We love our dog, really. She's just the devil quite naughty sometimes, not mean, just naughty.  Don't judge us because we have a shock collar on her. It's helping us train her, and even just putting it around her neck seems to be enough some days.)