and when the doubt gives way to trust,
and when the bouy of my flesh swayed by every wind remembers that it's attached to an unmoving, unchanging Anchor,
I remember that God is always good, always faithful, and always there.
And when I think about it, God's too good, really, just too good. We just simply.don't.deserve. where He has us and what He's given us.
My intense battle with doubt that left me breathless and fearful looks so silly now. But God embraced me in my doubt and pointed out His goodness along the way giving me the ability to step out into a new direction and deal with the early weeks of the husband's absence and seeing somebody else drive our tool truck.
And us in this white collar world? Oh it's quite laughable. Me with dirt under my fingernails and deepest aspirations to sell at the Farmer's Market. Me bathing a dirty, stinky German Shepherd puppy in the kiddie pool.
And him in love with his tractor and no hobbies other than work.
And when he asks me, "Aren't you glad we took the risk?" I wanna laugh and ask, "And just what risk are you referring to? The risk to love each other? The risk to do that whole Marine Corps thing? The risk to get out and do the civilian thing? The risk to start up a business with 2 six month olds and me not working? The risk to lay it all out there and go toe to toe with corporate?"
Yes. I would risk it all again, with you and for you. From the moment we shook hands with those people putting us into business, I knew we would end up here. And I know you knew it, too. Some things don't have to be said.
But some things do. Because if we don't say them, we might stop feeling them.
So I'm saying this and linking it up over HERE.
God, this is all straight from You:
#346. the sting of doubt that reminds me of my true security
#347. that deep down feeling where you know, even when everything around screams the opposite
#348. the sight of a tool truck deep in a Wisconsin woods
#349. the discussion with him about not half-doing anything, even and especially the things we don't want to do
#350. embracing the stings making the joys that much sweeter
1 comment:
God's blessing to you and your family! I wish I could figure out exactly what's all transpiring in your life right now; definitely big changes. And maybe that's part of the lesson... We don't always have to have everything all figured out. :)
Post a Comment